Lost in silence: The women we betrayed

It is painful beyond words to witness the ongoing suffering of women in our society.  A deep and widespread pain surrounds many as they carry heavy burdens in their hearts,  often without sharing,  often without anyone noticing.  Their pain is silent,  their struggles invisible,  yet the weight is crushing.  

Yesterday,  we were shaken by a heartbreaking incident in Ganderbal,  a woman,  overwhelmed and broken jumped into a water canal with her son and daughter.  Fortunately,  all three were rescued in time.  Only days earlier,  another woman in Bandipora chose to end her life in the same tragic way.  These are not just tragic stories,  they are urgent alarms ringing in our conscience.  

Some women suffer in silence under domestic violence,  enduring physical and emotional abuse within their own homes.  Others face societal pressures and stigmas that lead to profound mental distress.  Over the past three years,  more than 6, 400 domestic violence victims in Jammu and Kashmir have sought assistance from One Stop Centres.  According to the National Crime Records Bureau,  cases of crimes against women in the region are increasing.  

We have heard too many such stories—women setting themselves on fire,  swallowing poison, drowning in rivers,  hanging from ceiling fans—not because they wanted to die, but because they could no longer bear to live the life they were forced into.  Because their voices were never heard.  Because their pain was never seen.  Because no one came to help when they were crying inside. Because the world around them expected them to keep smiling, keep serving, keep suffering without complaint.  

We like to think that we are a caring society, a moral society, a society rooted in values. But what kind of values are these where women are drowning in despair and no one notices until it's too late? Where a mother must decide between dying and surviving another day of silent pain? What kind of world is this where women, who hold families together, who sacrifice endlessly, who give their lives to others, find themselves so alone, so lost that death feels kinder than life? 

This is not just a personal failure. It is not just the burden of one woman, one family or one town. This is a collective failure. A failure of our homes, our communities, our institutions, our mindset. We have built a society where women are expected to endure quietly,  without asking for help. Where mental health is still taboo. Where talking about depression or anxiety is considered shameful. Where people whisper when a woman breaks down but no one asks what broke her.  

The truth is, we have failed to protect the hearts and minds of our women. We have failed to give them a world where they feel safe, where they are allowed to be vulnerable, where they are not constantly judged, blamed or silenced. We celebrate women on special days, we post quotes and pictures but where are we when a real woman in our life is crying herself to sleep every night? Where are we when a sister,  a daughter, a wife or a mother is hiding her tears just to avoid being called weak? 

A woman doesn't choose death easily. It takes countless nights of hopelessness. It takes unbearable loneliness. It takes repeated emotional wounds. It takes losing faith in everyone around her. Before she ends her life, she dies a hundred times in silence and that silence is what we need to break.  

We need to create a world where women are not ashamed to say they're hurting. Where they are not blamed for their pain. Where they are encouraged to speak, to share, to heal. Where help is not a privilege but a right. Where empathy replaces judgment. Where kindness becomes the culture.  

We need to open our eyes and our hearts. We need to look at the women around us and ask how they're doing.  We need to listen without interrupting, without offering quick solutions, without making them feel guilty for feeling broken. We need to sit with them in their pain, be present and walk with them through it. Because healing doesn’t come from advice, it comes from connection.  

Let’s stop pretending everything is fine. It’s not.  Women are dying. Families are breaking. Children are losing their mothers. It’s all preventable, if only we care enough, if only we act before it’s too late.  

To every woman who is struggling silently, please know you matter. You are not alone. You are not weak for feeling overwhelmed. Your pain is real and you deserve support, love and peace.  And to all of us, let’s not wait for another tragedy to move us. Let’s be the society that listens,  that understands, that supports. Let us be the reason someone chooses to live.  

Writer is socio-political activist and can be mailed at towheedsheikh7@gmail. com