JAMMU: In a world where societal expectations often place women at a crossroads between marriage, motherhood, and a successful career, it is important to challenge the notion that these choices are mutually exclusive. While it may be commonly perceived that embarking on the journey of marriage and raising children inevitably leads to the end of a woman's professional aspirations, we must recognize that this is not an absolute truth. Today, we delve into the realm where ambition and personal life converge, aiming to break the stereotypes that confine women to a limited set of choices.
On the subject, Editor-in-Chief of JK Monitor (www.jkmonitor.org), Ajmer Alam Wani did an exclusive online interview with Snowber Jamil, a State Civil Servant (JK Administrative Services), pursued courses in Human Rights, Gender and Development Studies besides working on several social issues including women related. This interview explores that having a supportive partner and pursuing a fulfilling career are not conflicting desires.
According to Snowber Jamil, marriage and kids doesn't always mean end of career. Yet it is seen in majority of cases with no significant exceptions that ambitious women have two choices either to have a supportive partner or no partner at all, alternatively to have a stereotypical career or no career at all.
Right and supportive husbands & families can be main reason of successful women as there are too many women with thriving and flourishing careers who give full credit of their success to their spouses and families, whereas conservative, non supportive can be a major hurdle for the women to keep pace with their ambitions and career.
Moreover conservative and orthodox cultural practices are a major hurdle affecting women's career aspirations and choices. Deep rooted patriarchy still influences every aspect of women's being & life.
A supportive spouse who respects his wife's beliefs and choices can become a strongest pillar in her success and help her in balancing life and work. When couples supported each other in every endeavor, professional life of women becomes a lot easier.
The detailed interview goes as below with brief questions and detailed answers.
- Can you introduce yourself and provide a brief overview of your background and expertise?
Myself Snowber Jamil, I am a state civil servant (JK administrative services).I am a BPT & BA Graduate, Masters in Political Science as well. As an area of interest, i have pursued courses in human rights and gender and development studies also and working on several social issues including women related also.
- In your opinion, what role does marriage play in the career choices of ambitious women?
Marraige is a social institution and the way it impacts career choices of ambitious women have both positive as well as negative connotations. When it comes to maintaining a balance of life in any social institution, it has been always challenging for the women and same is the case in career choices also. As marriage is a social construct with pre defined roles of men and women set by our society, it becomes difficult for society to accommodate ambitious women with their own terms and conditions. Whether a woman chooses a traditional career option or some demanding one, a flexible job or no job, all are somehow influenced by family circumstances and married life.
- Do you believe that marriage can be strength or an obstacle for ambitious women when it comes to choosing the right career path?
It is seen in majority of cases with no significant exceptions that ambitious women have two choices either to have a supportive partner or no partner at all, alternatively to have a stereotypical career or no career at all.
Right and supportive husbands & families can be main reason of successful women as there are too many women with thriving and flourishing careers who give full credit of their success to their spouses and families, whereas conservative, non supportive can be a major hurdle for the women to keep pace with their ambitions and career.
- What are some common challenges or obstacles that ambitious women may face in their careers due to marriages?
Marriages have differential effects on career path of men & women.Family play a central role in influencing career choices and career progression of women. First and foremost challenge is to balance family and work life. If spouse and family gives resources and support, marraige becomes a great strength for women, when marriage and family becomes obligation or restrain in any manner, it has an enormous negative impact on career of women. Secondly women are compelled to choose flexible jobs because of requirements of married life even if doesn't match their capabilities and expectations. Third big challenge is when it comes to parenting, even most supportive husbands and families put responsibilities solely on women which impacts their career. 66% of women are forced to leave their apirations and jobs because of family and married life obligations. One more obstacle is that post marriage, women are more accepted for associated with conventional jobs which become impediment for having non conventional jobs. Although trends are changing but not significantly.
- Are there any specific cultural or societal factors that influence the relationship between marriage and career choices for women?
Societal and Cultural factors affecting the relationship between marraige and career choices of women can be better understood in the context of social construction of Gender by our society. Girls right from birth to women in marriages, their identity is centered on the roles of wives and mothers whose roles are to create a number of duties and commitments. Society always give secondary importance to their career. Career choices are highly gender stereotyped. Jobs of women are always seen as an extension of caring, nurturing, nursing and teaching etc. Any deviation from these is hardly accepted. Moreover conservative and orthodox cultural practices is a major hurdle affecting women's career aspirations and choices.Deep rooted patriarchy still influences every aspect of women's being & life.
- How can an ambitious woman strike a balance between her career goals and the responsibilities of marriage?
Nowadays we are witnessing an increase in the women workforce in organized sector. More challenging careers are being chosen by women now. Although this is not reality for most of the women and the road to it is too far. Still a lot of women are striking a balance between family and work. A well balnced approach and understanding between the partners is the key.
1) Communicate and priortize the things with your partner
2) Make wise choices keeping in mind your aspirations and your married life needs.
3) Work both in job and home in a planned manner
4) Support each other
5) Divide your household chores
6) Develop an equilibrium. There should be an unconditional support for each of partners
7) Share burden and household duties.
- Can you provide examples of successful women who have managed to excel in their careers while being married? What can we learn from their experiences?
There are hundreds of women who are on the top positions , some are CEOs of company, some are superb administrators, some are successful professionals, some are successful entrepreneurs, some are great educationists ,all are successful both in personal as well as professional lives. I believe circumstances of all women are different, and the definition of success is also different so it is better to leave choices upto the women to idealize any one and ge inspired from their experiences and more importantly keep on going and never leave your dreams and aspirations.
- Are there any specific industries or professions where marriage is perceived as more of an obstacle for ambitious women?
As I said earlier also, these are just the perceptions of society to gender categorize professions also, but I think nowadays women are making entry into every profession which was earlier restrictive to unmarried women. Women nowadays struggle to the last to overcome any barrier. Today we see women excelling in sports, politics, administration, fashion industry, acting, modeling, army, navy and police, almost in every industry / profession.
- What role does communication play in maintaining a healthy balance between marriage and career aspirations?
Communication, Commitment, compassion plays a great role in maintaining a healthy balance between marriage and career. Couples who communicate have a more satisfied married life. When one feel heard, respected and validated, a more strong relationship is built which is a base for a healthy balance between career and marriage.
- How can a supportive spouse contribute to the success of an ambitious woman in her career?
A supportive spouse who respects his wife's beliefs and choices can become a strongest pillar in her success and help her in balancing life and work. When couples supported each other in every endeavor, professional life of women becomes a lot easier.
- What are some misconceptions or stereotypes surrounding the relationship between marriage and career choices for women? How can we challenge or debunk these stereotypes?
First of all gender stereotyping of career is normalized over the decades. Gender categorization of work is done and girls are brought up differently. It is a well known notion among people that a woman is supposed to do only such jobs which are similar to husehold work and married women especially cannot have a career because family and work cannot go together. Ambitious career oriented women are not meant to get married. Woman has to either choose marraige or career.
These all are the misplaced notions created by our society which has been challenged by women folk always. Women are the best planners and managers who can work multifariously. There are hundreds of examples with women having successfull careers and marriage also. Some are at top positions having a successful married life also: And even many women are there who started their successful careers after marriage with the help of their partners. Marriage and kids doesn't always mean end of career.
- Are there any personal characteristics or qualities that make some women more resilient in balancing their career and marriage compared to others?
No its not so. Women by birth are bestowed with resilience. Take the case of housewives.how they manage household work, family needs, children's need. They work tirelessly day and night. Same is the case with women pursuing non traditional jobs Every women can well maintain a balance between career & personal life, although toxic dynamics can happen in anyone's life.
- How can employers and organizations create a more supportive and inclusive environment for ambitious women who are married?
A supportive environment at work places is a prerequisite for women to excel. It deeply impacts the women's success and performance at the work places. A favorable environment can help women to take care of both their families and jobs well and can reach to a successful position whereas a negative & unsupportive environment is a major cause of women leaving jobs for the sake of their families and children. Working in a hostile environment in work places is the main cause of anxiety among women.
- How can societal attitudes and perceptions towards marriage and gender roles impact the career choices of ambitious women?
As I said earlier also gender stereotypes occur in all aspects of life. When it comes to career choices, it is deeply influenced by societal attitudes and perceptions.Even if we have women at the top positions and honors, still the age old prejudices and normalization of diminishing of women's identity to be one who is supposed to obey exists and hundreds of women are forced to leave their jobs for the sake of family. Women are compelled to take careers which are an extension of care giving. Gender stereotyping diminishes work opportunities concerning career choices and expectations.
- Are there any specific resources, networks, or organizations that provide support or guidance to ambitious women who are married and seeking to advance their careers?
There are many organizations at regional/ state levels which are working to provide support, assistance and guidance to women. Moreover there are many governmental schemes aiming at overall empowerment of women also.
- What advice would you give to ambitious women who are hesitant about getting married due to concerns about their career goals?
It is quite natural for women who are career oriented to be a little hesitant about marriage because we are brought up in such society and culture which always wants women to compromise and sacrifice and places women's career at the second only. But women should always follow the path of their wishes and will. They should work relentlessly to achieve what they aspire to and ultimately when they take hold of command of their lives, their married life will also fall in line by giving required attention and respect to their partner and family. Both the things are equally possible.
- Is it possible for a woman to have both a successful career and a fulfilling marriage? If so, what are some key factors that contribute to this balance?
Yes as I said earlier also both the things are possible by striking a well planned a balanced approach towards both and more importantly circumstances, resources around do matter. Women have demonstrated exceptional caliber in handling both married life and successful career.
- How important is self-care and personal well-being in maintaining a healthy marriage and a successful career simultaneously?
Self care and personal well-being is indispensable for every aspect of life. One should choose to engage on regular basis to enhance and maintain health and well-being which reduces stress & anxiety which most of the people are facing in personal and professional life. Along with physical health, equal importance should be given to mental health also to have a successful personal as well as professional life. When one gives body and mind rest, reset and rejuvenates it, a balance is built in life and career.